Grief, bereavement and loss

What is grief?

"Grief can be difficult and stressful and nearly everybody goes through it at some point in their lives. Despite this, it can be very difficult to predict how we might react to a loss, as it is a very individual process. In most cases, grief is not a diagnosable mental health problem. It is absolutely normal that grief places strain on our everyday lives and it can take a long time to adapt to life after a loss. Even after a long period, it is still normal to experience days like the difficult early days after a bereavement, but over a period of time we gradually learn to manage these." - Mind

Support available 

Spectrum Life

• Spectrum Life is our Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) which is a confidential, external service to support colleagues at the University. They provide six sessions of free counselling.

Colleague Grief and Bereavement Group

• This group is led and supported by the University Chaplaincy (as facilitators with Cruse training) and Colleague Wellbeing. It is a support network for colleagues experiencing any form of grief or bereavement. You could be at any stage of this experience including, for example, a recent loss, a loss some time ago, facing the future loss of someone close, miscarriage, or the 'loss' of someone still living in the case of advanced dementia where personality change and memory loss can be common.  The group is a safe space for sharing/listening and practical/reflective activities with much mutual support. This is open to all colleagues regardless of worldview or religious faith. 

  You do not need to register to attend, you can just turn up to the sessions that suit you. At in-person sessions, anyone attending is welcome to arrive up to 30 minutes beforehand if it helps to relax and unplug from work. The facilitator will also be available directly afterwards if you want to have a private chat (completely optional).  To find out more about this group please email either Ramona or Colleague Wellbeing. 

  Here are the upcoming meetings:

  DATE	TIME	LOCATIONS
  04 January (Weds)	12:30-13:30	Online (ColleagueWellbeing@exeter.ac.uk for email/calendar invite list)
  22 February (Weds)	12.30-13.30	Streatham campus:  Neil Cross Room in the Forum Library
  20 March (Monday)	12:30-13:30	Online (ColleagueWellbeing@exeter.ac.uk for email/calendar invite list)
  Other dates TBC March 2023		St Luke's campus:  Upper Lounge in Staff House

Grief & Bereavement Network - Teams site

• Whether you attend the group meetings or not, you are very welcome to join the Grief and Bereavement network via our friendly Teams site.  Ramona, Kate and Rosie (admin support and member) will use it to share information, dates etc. and members use it to check in with others, ask for advice, share information and things they've found helpful, or just share what they're going through with others who understand. To join the group please email: ColleagueWellbeing@exeter.ac.uk.

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Guidance

• The University's latest guidance is available here: Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Guidance.

Occupational Health

• If you are experiencing grief it can help to talk to your manager who can refer you to Occupational Health for support. Alternatively, you can make a self-referral direct to the Occupational Health Team. 

Chaplaincy

• They offer one-to-one pastoral care and a confidential listening ear. They offer this to people of all faiths or no faith: UoE Multifaith Chaplaincy.

Other University resources

• Bereavement support booklet - for staff and students (note: this booklet contains references to student support available)
• Taking good care of ourselves can really help us to stay mentally well. Take a look at the ‘Self-care and staying well’ section for resources and advice.
• The University of Exeter library has an in-person and online wellbeing section you can access.

External support & Events

• Let's Talk About Loss for young grievers aged 18 - 35. 
• AtALoss.org, a signposting website for bereavement support services in the UK.
• Cruse Bereavement Care - bereavement support, information and campaigning.
• Marie Curie have bereavement information (including support others), an online chat function, add hoc talk line and 'Check in and Chat' where you can access up to 12 weekly support sessions from a trained volunteer who can provide a listening ear and a safe space to talk.  Thier support is tailored to those being affected by a terminal illness, whether that is the person diagnosed themselves, their carer or loved ones. It can be any form of terminal illness, including but not limited to a cancer diagnosis. 
• NHS - Get help with grief after bereavement or loss
• A "Bereavement self-help guide" has been created by DPT NHS.
• The Access to Work Mental Health Support - a confidential service delivered by Remploy funded by the Department of Works and Pensions is available at no charge to any employees with depression, anxiety, stress or other mental health issues affecting their work.
• Death Cafe - at a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. Their objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'.
• It can be helpful to go through one of Mind’s ‘Wellness Action Plans’ (workplace, remote and hybrid) with your manager so you can both explore how they can support you more with your wellbeing.
• NHS Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT)- an NHS support you can refer yourself directly to for talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling, other therapies and guided self-help. Local IAPT services are listed below:
  • NHS Talkworks (Devon)
  • NHS Outlook South West (Cornwall)
  • Steps2Wellbeing (Dorset)
  • Plymouth Options (Plymouth)
  • Somerset Partnership Talking Therapies (Somerset)
  • VitaMinds (Bristol, N.Somerset, S.Gloucestershire)
  • B&NES Talking Therapies (Bah & N.E. Somerset)
  • If you live outside of these areas, you can find your local service using the NHS IAPT Search Tool.

Supporting someone experiencing grief

• 'Your Colleague is Grieving. How Can You Help?' - Harvard Business Review
• Here is a useful infographic about supporting someone with grief from an organisation called BelievePerform we subscribe to. Once you click on the below you can then download it (by right-clicking -> 'Save images as'). You can then zoom in for greater clarity.